Thursday, December 23, 2010

Musings of a Delinquent::This Santa is a FAKE!!!::.

I've been missing again. No worries. I'm alive. I've been keeping up on everyone's blog and commenting when I can think of something witty. I just haven't been in the writing spirit--probably because the Christmas spirit finally hit me. I've been Martha Stewart-ing it up in my house:
1. chocolate truffles--thanks Sara!<---she's muther chucking hilarious. Visit her, I command you.
2. oreo truffle cupcakes (I saw these in the blog world somewhere and CANNOT remember where I found them...If these amazing mouthgasms are your creation, comment and claim your thunder for the sake of Baby Infant Jesus.)
3.  homemade mistletoe
4. homemade ornaments for Haven's classmates, teacher, and principal. (kiss-ass.)
5. Haven's Christmas party where......are you ready for this?? This is good. I mean it's REALLY good......

This Santa?? Recognize him??? Yea. That's The Husband! He was the star of "Santa Says." See the block headed kid to the right of him?? This kid gave him the HARDEST time. "YOU'RE A FAKE!! I see the strings to your fake beard!!!" Followed by the "I've got my eyes on you" hand signal. He continued harassing him. Fucking hilarious! Haven knew it was her dad right away. "DAD! I know it's you. I can tell by your BIG, DARK eyebrows!" Ahhh! I love it. The Mr. is Cherokee Indian and Portuguese...and rather dark complected--they weren't buying it. Most were cool with it though, and others, like said punk, I encouraged Santa to whisper traumatizing slurrs. He didn't. Wuss. 

Speaking of Santa--I don't know what in the hell has gotten into me, but I've had ninja Christmas moves. I mean I'm the Jackie Chan of deals, UPS luck and wrapping this year. Shizz be done. Well... two packages arrive tomorrow. I could wrap those in my sleep by now. I locked myself in the bedroom tonight  with some wine after The Husband pissed me off. I turned on the 90s on satellite radio and wrapped my happy little ass to Christmas cheer. Not only did I pounce, spank, choke the whole Christmas present wrapping thing--I also got all of my kickass shutterfly Christmas cards out in time apparently. I got all kinds of FB messages today about how cute they are---and Dude...they are. This was the first Christmas card we have ever sent out. I mean that wasn't your general Ho Ho Ho! shizz--they're personalized with pictures...and I used pictures I took, so double whipped cream spankings. You can see it here. Inside is their picture with Santa printed in B&W on the upper flap. Totes. 

I'll catch up on the 31 Day Photo Challenge in a few days--probably the 24th. Slacker...I know.


  1. Be prepared to attack the UPS truck if necessary!

  2. Dude- why are you holding out on the oreo cupcake recipe??? You pass it on! Email me at:

    I made my husband wrap 75% of the gifts because I hate wrapping. For friends..I love doing it. For my kids.. not so much. I'm terrible. I wrapped one scooter (Olivia's) and Matt wrapped Jackson, Olivia was like, "Why is my box bumpy?" And I told her that sometimes Uncle Travis has his drunk friends help. (Since the gifts are from him). She bought it.

  3. LOL! I am just now catching up on blog comments and checking out some new blogs...I am so glad you liked the oreo truffle cupcakes that I made:-) Happy New Year.

  4. Ahhh! I'm so glad you saw this! Now I can steal the rest of your yummy treats! :):)

  5. I Am So Glad to read your article,thanks for sharing us...