Monday, November 29, 2010

Black (Like Evil) Friday

Black Friday. More like Black Hearted Friday.

We set out for two specific items: a trampoline on sale for $168, and 2 Leapster Touch Pad gamer things... We got to an area Walmart around 11:00PM, got the Leapsters and a few extra things also found their way into the cart. We had it all. All but the trampoline. The main joint gift. They were out. Shit. I say, "Well, we can just drive the 20 minutes to Osage Walmart for the trampoline. We have time. We'll check out now, and  head that way for the trampoline." Easy. Painless. We head to check out where we hear, "I can't check you out at sale price until midnight." Fuck. So we abandon our cart and haul ass to the next Walmart.

The Husband dropped me off and I high tail to the door. He parked and we would meet inside. My cell had just died, but I had his. He was phoneless, but we just knew we would find each other. (HA.) I'm convinced that all nuts of the Earth gathered at the same exact time, on this night, at this Walmart. Funny, I was there, too. Coincidence, I swear.

I get inside. People are everywhere. I practically crawl through the waves of people to the Lawn and Garden section where I hear that the trampolines are hanging out. The line is probably 100+ people long. The assertive person I am, I walk out of line straight to the front to talk to the desperate employee. She looked like she wanted to die. It wasn't even midnight yet. I found out that they had 18 trampolines left and that she was just getting ready to hand out tickets for the trampolines. She says, "Lucky you, you get ticket 1. Get a cart." YES! My "the world revolves around me" attitude paid off for once! Right. A cart. So I find a cart holding a couple bags of soil just 2 rows down...I empty it and it is now mine. MUAHAHA! I get a couple of Dads to help me load the massive box onto my cart. Not an easy steer project, but I head to the middle of the store where I just knew Husband would be waiting for me.

Instead? Instead I find nothing but a crowd. Boxes, people, aisle obstructions--everywhere. No husband. Here I am weaving through it all. I'm thinking about how I'm not going to get the rest of my list and how Husband better hope he's taking care of at least SOME items. I'm panicking to be honest. I lugged that massive box around for a good hour before I found Husband delightfully chatting it up in a side aisle with some familiar faces. Lovely. Thankfully, he got a few things, but not everything. So I shoved my cart at him, told him to get in line and took off with his cart to finish. So I nicely switched him carts and asked him to find us a spot in line while I finished up. (While we are in fantasy land, I'll add that my hair and make-up looked amazing by this point. Ha!)

I weaved in and out of hateful shoppers finishing my list. I headed back toward Husband. Waiting in line to get in line, I was in the middle of a 70+ yr old man and a younger couple. The geezer had two carts full of multiples of junk. He was in the middle of his two carts guarding his space like a pack of dogs guarding a knocked over trash can. He looked over at the couple with just a few things in their cart as they inched up--ya know, because the people in front of them moved up. Grandpa grumbles to them, "I hope you don't think you're going to cut me!" They were a little shocked. The dude asks, "What?" Grandpa repeats himself. Me being the peace maker I am, intervene of course. "I really don't think they're trying to cut you being as this isn't kindergarten." At this point he tries to peep in to explain himself. "I saw. We are all in a 3-way line for 1 cash register. Hate on Walmart for only opening 6 lanes on the busiest night of the year, not these people. There's no need to get grouchy with each other. We've all been in line, we all want to check out, we all want to go home." A few people clapped. I felt awesome. Little did they know that I was seconds from blowing up instead. Anyways, Gramps apologized, the couple laughed and all was merry.

For a minute.

We ended up in line for 3 hours. I'm not kidding-- 3 hours! Husband and I started chatting up other customers for fun. We made shopping line friends and took our frustrations out on the poor inexperienced, elderly woman that was on the register. Good times.

By the time we did check out, I was done. No target. No mall. No more. We went home, unloaded and crashed.

Until next year!


  1. We went for the trampoline too! It was insanity. If my husband wasn't with me I would have left and paid full price.

  2. shirley,

    i was ready to run away and just pay the full price! i say every year, 'not this year. i'm shopping online...' and every year i'm in line, in the cold and surrounded by grouches! lol congrats on the successful black friday experience!