I had this big long rant about why my parents hate me and blah blah blah.....I'll still struggle at the fact that I don't have those parents--the ones that think you're incredible, want you to succeed and want to be around you. It's ok. They don't know what they're missing-- all because they still deem me as that angry teenager they created with their arguing and yelling. I'm not that. She's dead. She was tough to handle, but I killed her. I'm me--funny, energetic, caring, intelligent, knowledge seeking, adventurous, crafty, loving, fucking awesome--and I love me. I'm happy. I have two incredible kids (and I tell them that EVERY DAY) and one overly fantastic husband---who thinks I'm pretty amazing, and smart and funny. I don't need anything else, from anyone else. Boom.
Okay, the weigh-in Monday--ya, I've been slacking on my posts. Any posts for that matter. It's been a crazy couple of weeks and I'm getting it back together. Seriously. I've been taking care of my home again--and I know that sounds weird. Yes, I clean--sorta, but lately I've been doing the bare minimum, and that's not me, yo. I like order and I've been missing it for way too long. So I started cleaning up all sorts of areas in my life. And I've been cooking like crazy. I wish I could say "cooking again" but I can't. I've never really done much cooking, but lately I've taken more initiative in doing so and guess what? I kinda rock at it. Which makes the whole weight loss challenge sorta tough.
Now, before my leader abandons me too, I must post my fatass stats for last week and the week before. I'm behind and you can give me spankings--hold the whip cream, I'm on a diet. I had A LOT (understatement times 5 billion) of stress last week. I won't go into it, because I'm leaving it behind, but basically it has been the worst week of my life. Well, Jonny and my Memaw passing tops that chart but you know what I mean...it sucked, ok? But I did get lots of walks in. Haven and I have been taking walks just her and I. Which is super awesome, because it gives us a chance to girl talk it up. She's so funny and I'm just in love with our new ritual. I also went to a concert 2 Wednesdays ago (I'm behind, remember?)---and concert me?? That bitch is a moving, dancing, crazy seizure patient. So, ya...lots of cardio there. I also got LOTS of cardio that Friday night---we'll call it cardio boxing and not a bar fight--because it wasn't ;) To counter all that, I'm bloated from female duty, but I know I didn't do terrible, so I'm not putting down progress.
My camera also took a beer and tequila bath on said Friday, so the lens wasn't really doing it's thing for this picture. (and i still need batteries for the damn scale.) I did salvage it with q-tips and rubbing alcohol though, so it's working semi-normally now. If you don't have super human eyes and can't read this, it says 154.6, which is up 2 oz from last weigh-in. So semi-boo to that. BUT I know my body and a lot of this is bloat. PMS and stress bloat. Because it can't be the ice cream. Nope. I unhooked that shit from my veins and now ingest it like a normal person.
This past Monday, yesterday the 28th--I weighed in at the same. I didn't see a point in snapping another photo. I didn't gain, so yay. I thought I would lose at least a pound--I've been attacking the wii, we road bikes at the park Sunday, and Haven and I got a few walks in. Oh well. This week I've been REALLY focusing on stress relief. Because. I. Need. It. Lately, especially. No excuses though, and next week this number will be different--in a lower kind of a way. It's going to be beautiful this week, so my plan is to move as much as possible. I have that slutty stripper dance cardio dvd--being slutty and exercise?? Sore. So I'm going to hit that 2-3 times this week. I have my shake weight. It's dusted off and I've been using that, too. And the Wii. The wii is my friend this week. AND the kids get to play with me while I jiggle--double score. Work is picking up, and fast! So there's more movement. Sweet. This week should be my week. We shall see....
I wrote half of this a week ago, and half now--so if it's choppy and weird, that's why. Or I'm just choppy and weird. Who knows?