Thursday, December 23, 2010

I Have to Share::.

Merry Christmas to you.....

http://www.couponcabin.com/

Musings of a Delinquent::This Santa is a FAKE!!!::.

I've been missing again. No worries. I'm alive. I've been keeping up on everyone's blog and commenting when I can think of something witty. I just haven't been in the writing spirit--probably because the Christmas spirit finally hit me. I've been Martha Stewart-ing it up in my house:
1. chocolate truffles--thanks Sara!<---she's muther chucking hilarious. Visit her, I command you.
2. oreo truffle cupcakes (I saw these in the blog world somewhere and CANNOT remember where I found them...If these amazing mouthgasms are your creation, comment and claim your thunder for the sake of Baby Infant Jesus.)
3.  homemade mistletoe
4. homemade ornaments for Haven's classmates, teacher, and principal. (kiss-ass.)
5. Haven's Christmas party where......are you ready for this?? This is good. I mean it's REALLY good......










This Santa?? Recognize him??? Yea. That's The Husband! He was the star of "Santa Says." See the block headed kid to the right of him?? This kid gave him the HARDEST time. "YOU'RE A FAKE!! I see the strings to your fake beard!!!" Followed by the "I've got my eyes on you" hand signal. He continued harassing him. Fucking hilarious! Haven knew it was her dad right away. "DAD! I know it's you. I can tell by your BIG, DARK eyebrows!" Ahhh! I love it. The Mr. is Cherokee Indian and Portuguese...and rather dark complected--they weren't buying it. Most were cool with it though, and others, like said punk, I encouraged Santa to whisper traumatizing slurrs. He didn't. Wuss. 

Speaking of Santa--I don't know what in the hell has gotten into me, but I've had ninja Christmas moves. I mean I'm the Jackie Chan of deals, UPS luck and wrapping this year. Shizz be done. Well... two packages arrive tomorrow. I could wrap those in my sleep by now. I locked myself in the bedroom tonight  with some wine after The Husband pissed me off. I turned on the 90s on satellite radio and wrapped my happy little ass to Christmas cheer. Not only did I pounce, spank, choke the whole Christmas present wrapping thing--I also got all of my kickass shutterfly Christmas cards out in time apparently. I got all kinds of FB messages today about how cute they are---and Dude...they are. This was the first Christmas card we have ever sent out. I mean that wasn't your general Ho Ho Ho! shizz--they're personalized with pictures...and I used pictures I took, so double whipped cream spankings. You can see it here. Inside is their picture with Santa printed in B&W on the upper flap. Totes. 

I'll catch up on the 31 Day Photo Challenge in a few days--probably the 24th. Slacker...I know.


Monday, December 20, 2010

31 Day Photo Challenge::Day 20::.

Day 20: A Photo of a place you would like to travel












I found this photo through google here: http://questionshaveanswers.blogspot.com/2009/09/why-were-galapagos-islands-important-to.html


When I was in the third grade, our class was assigned reports on random locations. It was all official like--we drew from a hat and everything. I drew Galapagos Islands, and I remember thinking what the fuck?! Ok I probably didn't use such colorful words, but you get my general point...Anyways, being the superb student I was, I did my research--found that there were giant turtles, and I was hooked. In middle school-ish I learned about Darwin and what a mind romp he was. Fascinating! I've been in love ever since.

One day.....one day I will have saved enough pennies and I will take my mini scientist there. You see, Haven is hooked, too. Example: While searching for this pretty photo above, Haven happened to glance and see a few photos...immediately she spouts, "HEY! GALAPAGOS! Why are you looking at The Galapagos Islands?????" She's six. Yep. She's going to get a wedgie or two......and then grow up to be a famous oceanographer (this is a real aspiration of hers) at which point she can give the wedgies. BUT I SWEAR ON ALL THAT IS HOLY, I WILL PUT GUM IN THE HAIR OF ANY CHILD OF ANY AGE (0-90) THAT HARASSES EITHER OF MY CHILDREN....AND PSYCHO RANT...OFF.











PS: Nope, I wasn't bullied. I was on the other side. I was that little bitch in class you wish you could have punched in the lunch line, went all Carry on at Prom, and prayed would get VD. Ok, I wasn't THAT bad, but being an adult and looking back---kids are assholes. I mean ASSHOLES. And I don't want my children to be on either side of situations like that. So in my blossoming knowledge of how to treat other humans, I've been extremely thorough on self-respect, respect for others and kindness when teaching my children. I think it's my job as a parent to prepare my humans for society---and I think we all can agree that we have enough fuck ups in the world without releasing a few more delinquents. So that's my parenting philosophy.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

31 Day Photo Challenge::Day 19::.

Day 19: A Picture and a Letter
















Dear Mom,
I'm not okay with our relationship. I feel like you don't 'get' me or want to. Seriously sometimes it seems like you would rather be walking rabid dogs than spending time with me, listening to my 'weird' jokes. It used to REALLY bother me, and I guess it still does, but I've pretty much callused. I think it's weird that this kink in our relationship only comes to head once in awhile--the rest of the time we converse like mere acquaintances to keep from getting too deep into each other's lives, pissing one another off. Even in this picture (and most with the two of us)--you look like you hate life.*Sigh* But you're the only Mom I have, and I'm lucky to have a mother at all. Besides, the mother/daughter relationships in movies are probably just as fairy tale as some prince waking a dead girl with his lips.



31 Day Photo Challenge::Day 17 & 18

Day 17: A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.






 Okay, this is a shot of me ripping out the disgusting carpet that once haunted my living room...see that retro stove behind me? Yep, that's gone too. Now lies beautiful floating floor and no sign of that ridiculous stove. (And one day there will be a fireplace where it once stood! hahaha!) Remind me to add a photo later. This made an impact on my life, you ask? Fuck yes it did. I feel peace in that room now...and it's so much more sanitary...whew! Relax.



Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity




















I went back and fourth on this one...I couldn't settle between my nose and my chub. Haha don't judge..everyone has their own private terrors. I went with the schnoz, because even if I went all hard body perfect, I would still have this giant lump distorting my face. :) Really, it doesn't bother me that much, but I had to choose something. So there you have it: I hate my ass, but I hate it a little less than I hate my nose.





Thursday, December 16, 2010

31 Day Photo Challenge::Day 16::.

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you
Someone who inspires me? Hmmmm.... this may be an odd answer, but:


These two little people inspire me in ways no one else ever could. They inspire me to be a better person for them. Every ounce of me loves these children and I would do anything to give them the best life possible. 



31 Day Photo Challange/Catch Up Because I'm a Slacker::.

I'm SO behind... I've had this ready to post for a couple of days now. I seen it streaming around and it looks fun, so I'm in-- even though I have some catching up to do. Hang with me and you shall receive a cookie (not really.).


Day 01 - A picture of yourself with ten random facts

 




















1. I am a Capricorn
2.  I love to write poetry
3. I used to dream of being an actress
4. I've been married since 7/15/2006
5. I'm a sucker for boys who sing
6. My favorite holiday is Halloween
7. I believe in peace 
8. I sleepwalk--it's creepy.
9. I'm double jointed all over--hips, shoulders, thumbs
10. I'm one of those Twilight weirdos

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

 











No one has known me longer than the Parents.

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show
I LOVE to laugh--so naturally my favorite show it Saturday Night Live. I'm an Andy Samberg freak. I would have his love-child. 



Day 04 - A picture of your night


 















Our Christmas tree. We bought this our first Christmas together back in 2003. I believe this will be her last year. I think I'll still keep it and put it up somewhere...there's no rule about too many trees. Now that the kids are older we may be able to go to a real tree. My Father (aka Clark Griswold) has given me a hard time every year about this piece of plastic. I grew up with a real tree--finding the right one, trimming it perfectly--it was a HUGE deal. So I'm excited to get back to tradition.


Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory

 




















This day obviously ranks extra high. I love this Dude. 



Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day
Chelsea Handler. She's hilarious. Enough said.



Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item

 

















I'm not real big on 'things' but I choose my rings, because they symbolize our .l.o.v.e.


Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh

 












After sent to her room for some 'chill out time' this is what we found. This was a few months ago. I still laugh every time I see it!

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

 
















My Husband is probably the only person on the planet that understands my weird and how I think. He gets it and he STILL loves me?? Definite keeper.


Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the craziest things with

 




















This is the BFF. She's wild and crazy which is why I keep her around. 

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate
War. Cliche? I don't care. It's the truth. 


Day 12 - A picture of something you love
The Fam[ily]

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist

We've discussed this sickness. 



Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

 
















My children of course I COULD NOT live without. The Husband, I couldn't imagine being without. He is my support. Not everyone is as lucky as I am, I don't want to ever let him go.


Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die
 
 Pretty self-explanatory. I want that rush I hear about. So, Sky-Diving...it's on the bucket-list.  

I'm sure that was long and boring...treat yourself for making it through! Now tomorrow I can start fresh with day 16. I'm interested to read and see what my bloggy friends will post. So, if you're interested:

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with ten random facts
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show
Day 04 - A picture of your night
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory
Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the craziest things with
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate
Day 12 - A picture of something you love
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity
Day 19 - A picture and a letter
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change
Day 25 - A picture of your day
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss
Day 31 - A picture of yourself